Her Era
by blahosaurus
Summary: Love can travel through time and space, through life and death, through generations. Yet some things are meant to be, and others are not. Soul mate can mean so many different things. Complete.


Her Era

She never knew she could feel this way. So broken. So lost.

So tired.

She had no life anymore. Her movements were slow, eyes always downcast. Everybody worried about her, she saw the looks they gave her.

So full of pity. She did wish they would stop.

Only her mother understood. Really, truly understood. For she, like Kagome, had lost the one she loved. She would smile at her in a way that made her heart hurt more, and less, at the same time. But Kagome would never had the memories she desired.

Kagome and Inu-yasha had been unable to have that. It was there, the presence of their caring. But never was it shared. Never where they allowed to wallow in their love for each other. There were too many complications that they allowed to get in the way.

And the saddest thing is she was too late. He never heard her say _I love you_.

I love you Inu-yasha. I would die, I would kill, I would give up _anything_ for you. My life, my family. My world, my time.

_Anything_.

But now he was gone. For ever and ever and ever…

She was numb. Always numb. She couldn't quite feel the world around her, only the eating pain inside was made present. Sometimes, she was in her class, and they would talk about history, or she was walking down the street and a white dog with cooked caramel eyes strolled by and she would break down. It was just too much, and she could feel her chest pressing and her throat constricting around a lump.

Oh God, How could she go on?

And those were the times when his last minutes came back to her. His last seconds, his last breath.

Of course, how not, they lay in a battlefield. Naraku's doing, the miserable bastard. He was too strong. Too smart, too quick. Too evil. He went down ungracefully, dead in chunks around them, but he had taken Kagome's world with him. Her lover, her soul. He lay in her arms and lap as she begged him not to go.

"You'll be ok Inu-yasha, you'll be ok. Dammit Sango, bring me the supplies!" She was deluding herself, and she knew it. Blood was everywhere. Seeping into the earth, slippery on her hands, on clothes, on faces, on lips, on loved ones. Bubbling away from ripped veins and arteries. Streaming down burnt skin. If only it would stop.

She couldn't believe this was happening. Inu-yasha, dieing in her arms. It couldn't be possible, this couldn't be true.

This wasn't happening!

Tears mingled with the blood that was splattered across her face, burning paths of misery down her cheeks. She gripped at him as his eyes fluttered open.

"Kagome?" He reached for her even before he focused on her, the raspy calling of her name made the pain all that more unbearable.

"Shh. It'll be ok." She could barely talk through the dizzying clenching of her whole body. Gods, this couldn't be happening.

Inu-yasha looked at her and smiled a small smile. A true smile. An Inu-yasha smile. It lit his eyes and relaxed his face, even under the pain he must have been under.

"Please…Don't cry. Don't cry Koishii. I love your smiles." His hand was on her cheek and she wondered at his care.

He knew he was dieing. The bastard.

But it only made her cry more. The feeling of not being able to breathe ruling her body. She couldn't _live_ without him. Everything burnt, her nose, her throat, her heart. His golden eyes were dimming and she clung to him, an anchor to life.

He was slipping away.

"No. No, you can't. You can't!" His smile never disappeared. He looked into her eyes, and with his last breath, he said

_I Love You_

And he was gone. Limp, lifeless.

Gone, gone, gone.

The pain she felt that moment no one can truly understand. That moment when he said I love you and she was unable to say it back, the moment when he went out of her reach, so that she couldn't hear his ranting, his laugh, his voice. No life in eyes or movement in body. No returned kisses. No known love.

Oh, that moment. It would stay with her, a scar in heart and soul, until the day she died. Again.

She tried everything. Her powers, Sesshoumaru's sword, begging, pleading, crying until she felt like killing herself, but nothing worked. Naraku had done something, and now his last words made sense.

_If I can't come back, neither can you, half-breed._

Why so cruel Naraku? Why so full of hate?

And now she was alone. For that is what love is. Feeling alone when you are surrounded with people, because the other half isn't there. Feeling sad when they are gone. Feeling dead, when they are dead.

At night, when there was no distraction to keep her mind busy, memories came back with vengeance, and they would torture her to sleep. Making her cry silently into her nightmares.

Would it always be like this? Think of him in only pain and regret and sorrow?

Would it always be like this?

It was dark except for a few shafts of light that streamed through the gaps in the wall boards as she stared into the infinite deepness that was her well.

She had bent the laws of physics. She had gone back in time. A miracle. And now she was set in using it to her advantage. The Shinkon No Tama might had failed her once, but she refused in believing it would happen again. She would mould time so that he revived.

She was stuck in a sorrow so deep she could think of nothing else. Pathetic, she knew, she believed, but it didn't make it any less true.

When Inu-yasha died, she didn't even have a chance to bury him, she was ripped for that time like she didn't belong. How could she? In a place when she hadn't even been born?

Kikyo had been right all along.

Her mother was calling her from far, far away, in a place called reality, but she was stuck in her hopes and her dreams, hiding in a shrine beside a old well. Bone crunching, bone eating well. Heart breaking, soul destroying well.

She clutched the jewel in her hand as hard as she could, so that the old cold jewel felt like it was going to melt into her body once again, and wished like a little girl upon a star. Wished…that things had been different.

Simply different.

And then she jumped.

OoO

Everything was as it had been, that first time.

Her heart raced.

The air was clean, the birds sung, and there was a sense of peace and tranquillity that was truly fooling. The trees around the well were murmuring, whispering their own secrets about a girl that didn't quite belong.

Her blood rushed

The vines still held tight to the side of the rock, and then the wall of the wooden well. The bones still lay below her feet, the remains of demons which longed to come back.

Her mind was reeling.

She was back. she had made it but…what now? She knew where she was, the only problem was…when was she?

She took a deep breath, and climbed the side of the well, and out into the familiar meadow.

This was a dream. This couldn't be… this…she had really made it…

A smile grew on her face, true, wide, shining, the first in…since he had died. Was she back in the beginning? Was Inu-yasha pinned to the tree, waiting for her? She would do everything again, for him, and wait all over again, all the three years, but this time she wouldn't let him go. Never.

She ran. And this time she knew exactly where she was going.

Leaves caressed, twigs snapped, braches hit, but she kept on going. Oh, to hold him again, and to see his face, his eyes, his smile, his smirk. Oh, to be with him again.

This was too good to be… She stopped. Her face fell. Her soul screamed. Her heart died.

He wasn't there.

And it was like losing him all over again.

And the shadow was back, covering her heart with a sheet of loss and sorrow. Why must fate taunt her so?

She walked towards the great tree with such a heavy heart it left a trail of blood after her, right where her shadow spilled in dark water.

The trunk was neither smooth nor perfect. It was rough, and used, and determined. It was Inu-yasha.

Her fingers traced the dips and mounds, the valleys of where he had been pinned to, and then the place, red with long dried blood, where the arrow had struck, both man and tree. How lucky, this tree was, allowed to cradle Inu-yasha for 50 years. She only wanted 50 seconds with him. Just to kiss him and hold him and tell him…

But no. things were not meant to be that way.

So then where was the Shinkon No Tama?

She frowned, at least just to keep the tired tears at bay. They were already starting to blur her vision. There was a rustle of leaves and cloth and a gasp.

"Ka...Kagome?" Her heart stopped.

It couldn't be…

She turned around. She stopped. Her heart starting beating again, faster than it had ever, and the pain was back, but it wasn't the same. It was…

Different.

Tears were flowing so fast she couldn't have stopped them even if she wanted to, her feet tripping over the raised roots, but there he was. Catching her.

She cried harder.

"Inu-yasha! I-Inu-yasha! Oh, inu...inu-yasha..." That's all she could say. His name on her lips had never tasted sweeter.

Was this real? Was he there?

She could feel him, his arms holding her, skin warmth, haori rough, eyes so intense it melted her skin.

Please let this be real…

She didn't waste any time, just in case her 50 second rule was in order, and crashed her lips against his in a sudden, clumsy, desperate, searching, asking, giving kiss. Yet his lips didn't move under hers, and her only hope was that it derived from the surprise.

She pulled away.

"I love you. I love you, inu-yasha." She looked into his golden eyes, wide with surprise, his hands loose around her. No reaction came forth.

What was going on..?

And then she heard a gasp and her head whipped towards it, only to see a young woman, about her age, dressed in a worn Kimono. Her heart stilled.

She looked like…her. She looked like her, and she looked like Kikyo. But she wasn't.

The girl bolted behind a tree.

Kagome's heart beat painfully again.

Inu-yasha was still looking at her, as if not believing his eyes.

"Kagome…I thought….I though you were dead." His voice was soft, lost of all roughness, and she stared at him as he stared at her.

"Wha…what?" She asked. Inu-yasha frowned slightly.

"You…five years ago. In Naraku's battle. You…I saw….I'm sorry. I…I couldn't protect you." And suddenly she was held so tightly in his arms that all she could do was wonder in the hiccupping of his breath. As if… As if he were…

She felt and heard him take a deep breath against her neck, and a tree whimpered in the distance.

That girl…

"No, Inu-yasha…I didn't die. You died." She whispered. She didn't even know why she was telling him. It was just a…a need. A need to make this real.

She felt him stiffen against her in confusion.

He pulled away slightly.

"What?" He asked, brows meeting in confusion.

Oh, to see those eyes again, to hear that voice. Her heart was about to burst.

"I made a wish. That things had turned out differently, that you hadn't died. I guess…it killed me instead." As she said this his hands gripped her harder.

"You don't smell dead. Not like…" not like Kikyo had. He pulled her into a crushing hug once again. It had been always so extreme with Inu-yasha. Tight hugs, scathing looks, intense feelings. She loved him so much, it was going to kill her.

"Five years…I didn't think I would ever smell you again." Kagome smiled. What a peculiar way of saying that. Not even see…and then it hit her.

Five years

That…woman.

"You've…moved on, haven't you?" her voice held heavy accusation. How could it not? After all the pain…after she had given everything for him. This wish she had made, risking all there was to bring him back, her lover, her love.

She pulled away, and the look in his eyes gave everything away. He looked…guilty. Guilty as changed. Guilty of loving someone else.

But it wasn't _fair_. She had…had _died_, had given up _everything_ for him! And now this…this…this _girl_ thought she had the right to take inu-yasha away from her? No! after all the pain! Everything!

No. she would-

"Let him go!" and suddenly she was on her side, someone pinning her to the floor. It was that girl, that woman. Kagome easily pushed her off, being used to battle. The girl shrieked…and was caught by Inu-yasha.

Something hurt so much inside Kagome…

And then she saw his arms. Haori ripped and flesh burnt where she had placed her hands.

Oh Kami…

And then like a river rushing in after being held back by a damn, the realisation hit her. She was Kikyo. Kikyo in fate and lover. Kikyo in face and soul. Kikyo in pain and trouble.

Inu-yasha put the girl on the ground roughly, like he had done to Kagome so many times, and stepped towards her, now pale and eyes wide at the though that had struck her like lightning.

"Kagome…?" His whisper brought her back.

"Be careful Inu-yasha!" and her shout made the pain come back.

"Keh."

Ouch.

This couldn't be happening.

But it was. To her. And to him all over again. For the second, third time.

Kagome's heart broke. For all of them.

"What's you name?" She asked the girl, ignoring Inu-yasha. She would not make this woman feel like Kikyo had made her feel.

Inferior.

The woman seemed surprised at the attention the miko was suddenly supplying her, and clumsily replied.

"Sa-saikuru." She said, and suddenly Kagome burst out laughing, but it was a bitter sound that made both Saikuru and Inu-yasha flinch. The laughing stopped.

"Cycle indeed…" Kagome murmured, and in that moment she looked so sad that Inu-yasha couldn't stop himself, and scooped her up in his arms.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. Saikuru watched them with a look in her eyes Kagome was only too familiar with.

Kagome leaned in, and her voice was low so that only his youki senses could catch them.

"Tell her you love her as soon as possible Inu-yasha. Tell her, or you'll regret it." She looked into his eyes. "Trust me. I know."

She loosed herself from his grasp.

Everything hurt so much. Kagome had though they were meant to be. That, if given the second chance, they would be brought together, because that was how things worked. But maybe she had been wrong, and maybe she was right. They were soul mates. Her soul didn't care what body it took.

Inu-yasha didn't seem to notice either.

Kagome looked at Saikuru, and the young woman stared back defiantly, albeit nervously back at her. She turned away.

"Kagome…" His voice called out, and it hurt so much it felt like her heart was going to beat right out of her chest and into his. This wasn't how things were supposed to be…

But she knew how it felt. She would not ruin this like Kikyo had tried to.

"Goodbye." She whispered, to the clean wind, vibrant colours, clear skies. To golden eyes and human dog ears.

Goodbye.

OoOoOoOoO

The pain was the dull side of a knife now. It didn't quite pierce her soul, not as it had done when she knew Inu-yasha was dead. Now he was alive, and happy. And she was alive, and broken.

Things weren't so bad. Not as bad as before.

She sat below the God Tree. Her tree. Their tree no more, and for evermore.

She listened to the conversation of it's leaves, and watched the patterns of sunlight streaming and filtering and being blocked by the guardian she had found her happiness and sadness in. She smiled at the clouds.

Look, that one looked like a dog. A dog with almost silver hair.

"Jesus Christ, how many bloody stairs does this stupid shrine have? A million fucking thousand?" Kagome's eyes grew wide. That voice sounded a lot like…

"Konjou! We are in a temple!" Then there was a smack and a yelp that sounded like… the sound Kagome's cloud makes when hit.

And then two people came into view, what Kagome presumed was mother and son.

Kagome's heart almost stopped.

The young man looked just like Inu-yasha in his human nights but his eyes were such a vibrant grey they were…silver.

Kagome stood up on shaky legs.

"May…may I help you?" Her voice was so soft she wondered how it reached them, but it did. The boy's eyes widened as they met hers, mouth gaping slightly. Kagome shifted, wondering if he recognised her, but then his mother hit him over the head again, and turned an apologetic smile at Kagome.

"I'm sorry, my son is a bit of a fool when coming to pretty girls. It's not a wonder he's single!" She laughed. Kagome blushed and smiled. Konjou blushed and scowled.

Something lit in Kagome's heart. It warmed her.

Maybe things were meant to be after all…

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A/N

Because I believe there is a reason behind everything, a reason why Kagome defiled the rules of physics and time and space, and several others.

Hmm, did you know that if you go to mars at the speed of light, and then come back to earth, at the speed of light, you are a week younger? If you did, woo, if you didn't well, now you know. You're that much closer to being a genius, go you. I think this must be the link to time travel! If we do ever achieve such a thing, but with the rate we go, like rabbits of knowledge and curiosity, then maybe…just…maybe…

Can't wait to see the demons!

This was a bit to see Kikyo's point of view. I do frown when she comes up in the anime/manga, for Inu/kag is one of my favourite things (so much better than kittens and mittens and all that blah!) but, I mean, she's dead. Poor Kikyo. Unfair that she came back, but don't people say that everyone deserves a second chance? Huh, HUH?

Ok, well, do review! If you have any snippets of information about space and all that jazz, I'm always open curiosity!

(I'm sorry about the lack of chapters, I swear I just…I love one-shots….)


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